Koneko no Sumu Ie FanGirl Ethics
by Seph Lorraine
Summary: Ken stomped his foot as if making a sudden realisation, "I knew it! They -have- formed a cult!" (RanKen)


Author's Notes -- ( 12:18 PM 7/22/03 ) Woo! I've started another fic, this one shouldn't be too long, with a bit of embalance. I don't think it will be any longer than five or six parts. Pretty simple plot. RanKen shounen ai to come... Er, maybe I'll finish this one?  
  
Reviews encourage me to write, so if you would like to comment, complain, threaten my person by means of death, physiological, or psychological injury, or propose to me an eternity of wedded bliss-- there is a nifty button down at the bottom of this window for just such a thing. ;)  
  
Disclaimer -- Don't own Weiss Kreuz, nor do I own those who do own it.  
  
Warnings -- Language, Shounen ai (to come), Silliness, OOC (hopefully not much), Fan-Girl bashing :D   
  
*****  
  
Koneko no Sumu Ie Fan-Girl Ethics * By Seph Lorraine  
  
Act I -- The Crime  
  
*****  
  
"You know, you don't have to be so difficult."  
  
"I'll be any way I want."  
  
"Yea, but this would be a lot easy if you weren't so difficult."  
  
"I'm not arguing this with you."  
  
"I'm not arguing!"  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Gods, I can't take this. You're pissing me off."  
  
"My deepest and most painful apologies to you."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Why have you gotta' be like that?"  
  
"...?"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Like that! ...Damn it, Aya! Look what you did!"  
  
"I didn't do that... Like what?"  
  
"Yes you did... Like the way you are."  
  
"You did that, Ken." There was a disdainful snort, "And I'm sorry my existance bothers you so."  
  
"My shears may have decapitated this poor rose, but it was indirectly your fault."  
  
"Well, it will be coming -indirectly- out of your pay."  
  
"Damnit, Aya! If you didn't have to act so fucking annoying, it wouldn't have happened in the--"  
  
"Mind your language in front of the ladies, Kenken." A tall lanky blond man snapped as he passed by the two conversing florists, who were presently crowded together over a large arrangement, ordered the week prior for a wedding decoration.  
  
"Indeed, -Kenken-."  
  
"Of course, -RaRa-." [1]  
  
"Don't even--"  
  
"Don't even -what-? RaRa?"  
  
First came the sound of thundering footsteps from the front door as a young girl raced into the shop. Then there was suddenly a semi-loud hack and, generally, sounds of dying, as she attached herself to the ex-soccer player.  
  
The tall blond, Youji, paused at where he was watering the tulips, surrounded by a pack of girls, and whispered quickly to a shorter blond boy, "Something foul's a foot."  
  
"Well, if you'd put some socks on!" Omi sniffed and whispered back.  
  
"Can't... breathe...!" Ken choked, struggling violently with two pale arms that were now wrapped tightly around his neck.  
  
No one noticed Aya's small-- yet, malicious-- smirk as he watched on in silence.  
  
"Can't... go on... much... longer...! Dying... here...! Help...!"  
  
"AYA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Youji ran forward quickly followed by the younger blond boy. "HE'S FRIGGIN' DYING!"  
  
Aya continued to smirk amusedly, and Ken continued to shade a deep purple, now a semi-dark-blue...  
  
"Gods, Aya! Help him!" Omi ran forward and began struggling to under the two pale arms that had wound their way tightly around the brunett's neck.  
  
After a moment or two of Youji and Omi's persistant tugging, a girl with semi-short brown hair was pulled off of the ex-soccer player, struggling and squealing all the way, "KEN KUN!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FOUND YOU!!! THIS MUST BE FATE!!!"  
  
Aya blinked at the girl who was now squealing loudly at Ken's crouching form. The younger boy was, indeed, quite short of air, and was breathing heavily-- paying no attention to the girl whose only restraints from his persona were the binding arms of Youji and Omi who held her back. All around the shop, every girl had stopped what they were doing and fell silent to watch. It was almost as if everyone were holding their breath as one.  
  
There was reason for Aya's amusement with Ken's being nearly suffocated by a fangirl every once in a while when the two of them were in the midst of an argument, but their were times when a rogue fan-girl could simply go too far. Nearly -killing- a member of Weiss was definately one of those times. The near-death of a Koneko employee, even to the fan-girls that swarmed the shoppe every morning and afternoon, when caused by one of their own went completely against the code of the Koneko no Sumu Ie Fan-Girl Ethics.  
  
And, of course, that was intolerable to everyone.  
  
Aya stood up from his stool, amidst the silence of the shop (now even the girl who had nearly killed Ken was silent). His violet-eyed glare was narrow and dangerous and a warning to all of those within Koneko perimetres, "All of you-- get out."  
  
The shoppe suddenly became icy as every fan-girl's eyes narrowed at the girl who had dared attack their precious Ken-ken. There were some murmered curses, but no one moved from their places or even seemed to mind Aya's frigid words, aside from one girl.  
  
A girl in a green school uniform stepped up from amidst the crowd towards the furious Aya, the seriously confused Ken-- now standing again and rubbing his throat timidly--, and the clueless girl who had just recently tried to kill the ex-soccer player. Her round face was framed by soft black hair, pulled back into two pig-tails, a green pen sticking authoritively out from behind her right ear, and two evilly-shimmering brown eyes peered out from her small face. She coughed lightly into her hand and began.  
  
"Ahem." She straightened up and regarded the girl, "Hikaru. I speak for the entire organisation, when I say: It greatly offends us, the actions you have taken this morning. You are to attend an emergency meeting we will be holding tonight to deal with this. Here is your notice--" She ripped a small pink slip of paper from a heart-shaped notebook and shoved it at the girl who had, just moments earlier, tried to kill Ken. "You shall attend on your own, or we will be forced to send -escorts-." She enunciated the last word with a venomous tone.  
  
The girl-- Hikaru-- looked positively terrified, and without a moment's hesitation ran from the shoppe in tears, large racking sobs escaping through the silence of the room.  
  
The girl in the green uniform piveted in a very military manner and with a professional manner turned to the girls that had now all clumped together towards the centre of the shoppe, "We have all become witness to a horrid crime this day that defies, every law that so rules our organisation. I am sorry that something so ugly had to take place here today as cause of one of our own, but alas, what crimes that have been committed are not to be undone. There will be an emergency meeting and hearing this night on behalf of the Hikaru, who has so threatened our dearest Ken's life--" At this there was a loud roar of agreement, "--I urge you all to immediately ring up your home-girls and notify those who were not present, with us, today. Everyone should attend the meeting. You know the place and the time. I now request that you vacate the crime scene so that our professionals may do their work, and I will personally call in a sick day at school to organise the paper-work and inform President Mika of today's most treasonous happenings. Please do not return this afternoon, instead, go home and prepare for the meeting. Thank you, ladies. Have a nice school day!"  
  
Aya sat, baffled, back upon his stool. Ken, Youji, and Omi, simply stood motionless.  
  
Three girls in their school uniforms scurried up the the men quickly, pulling out cameras and note pads. They took some rapid pictures of the shoppe and the four workers-- mainly Ken-- and jotted down some quick times, dates, and random stuff that could not be observed in enough time to be read.   
  
The leader-girl, in green, jotted down something quickly on a piece of paper and handed it to one of the other girls who was taking notes of the 'crime scene', and spoke quickly, "Call up Nagi and Ichiiro to escort Hikaru to the trial. She always was a coward, so she won't come without force."  
  
"Yes, Hotaru san." The girl took the paper and bowed before scurrying away.  
  
And without another word or glance from any of them, they all left.  
  
The shoppe was silent.  
  
"What the hell just went on here?" Youji blinked.  
  
Ken stomped his foot as if making a sudden realisation, "I knew it! They -have- formed a cult!"  
  
"..." Three blank stares met his own.  
  
"Well? How would -you- explain it?" The brunett growled and crossed his arms.  
  
Aya began to make a reply but he was quickly silenced when the shoppe bell rang and a woman stepped in.  
  
Youji slapped a hand over his eyes, knocking his shades askew, "Oh, wait! I can identify those legs!"  
  
"I'm sure you can, Balinese." The redheaded woman entered smuggly and gestured to a file and tape she was both holding, "Mission for you."  
  
"Manx, how have you been?" Youji bowed, using his most eloquent voice.  
  
The woman merely smirked and nodded to the other three men, "I just observed a hoarde of females flocking from your shoppe. I hear someone almost died..." Her gaze lingered on Ken, who was still taking breath in large gulps. She made a slight humming sound from her throat and headed towards the mission room with the men at her heels.  
  
*****  
  
"All of the girls you will see on this tape have one thing in common. They are all, or were previously, members of a secret organisation known as the 'KNSIFGA'-- or as our abriviatologists [2] have recently determined: Koneko no Sumu Ie Fan-Girl Assossiation. As far-fetched as it may sound, the truth is that this organisation has been active ever since the second week after this present Weiss took control of the flower shoppe, Koneko no Sumu Ie. This is the organisation's leader," an image of a highschool-aged girl appeared on the screen, she was clad in her school uniform and a large toothy smile-- they all recognised her immediately as one of the random fan-girls who crowded their shop, daily, "Kazigawa Mika [3], founder of the KNSIFGA and present dictator--"  
  
"But the girl in the shoppe said 'president'... Is this a democracy or a dictatorship we're dealing with?" Omi growled semi-quietly.  
  
"They're highschoolers, Omittchi. You can't expect them to know anything about politics." The playboy assassin took a long drag on his cigarette, fingering his shades.  
  
"--as well. She and her council," another picture showed a small collection of girls, all highschool age, in their uniforms and smiling brightly, "are responsible for the execution of over 25 of their own organisation's members, and over 50 outside offenders of their organisation or of the employees of the Koneko no Sumu Ie, namely yourselves. They--"  
  
"So, they're out their -killing- people who offend us?!" Ken's face had turned a somewhat light shade of grey, "That's what happened to the guy who was stalking Youji, then?"  
  
The tall blond blinked and lowered his glasses, "Oh yea... I wondered what happened to that guy..."  
  
"--are a very large organisation of young teenage girls, and are to be taken seriously, despite their age--" The tape droned on.  
  
Aya snorted quietly.  
  
"--Hunters of the night, deny these dark beasts their tomorrow." The tape stopped and the room went momentarily black until Aya flipped on the switch from where he lurked by the doorway.  
  
Youji let out a low whistle, "Damn... Kenken was right."  
  
'Kenken' paled considerably and remained silent.  
  
"Imagine that... Our fan-girls aren't just a club, anymore-- they're a cult!" The tall blond sniffed in an impression of mock grief, "They've all grown up."  
  
"Yotan, this is serious!" Omi hit the older boy sharply on the upper-arm, "We all saw what happened in the shoppe, earlier. This explains it, perfectly."  
  
"Our 'dark beasts' are a group of squealing overly-obssessive bitches?" Aya's voice was icy and disdainful as he spoke from his spot by the doorway, "Is this some type of joke?"  
  
Manx stood by the screen with her arms crossed, her eyes flashing across Aya's figure, "It may sound trivial to you, Abyssinian, but I assure you it's not. Some of your previous targets have been guilty of less accounts of murder than these girls; this is most certainly not a joke."  
  
Four sets of eye watched her wth different amouts of obvious doubt.  
  
The woman sighed heavily, "Have you ever even considered the threat they've posed to your missions all along?" She eyed the four silent men, "They watch you all very carefully. There is even a great possibility that some of them know about Weiss. If this keeps up, they're putting you and Kritiker in a serious disposition. They must be elliminated."  
  
"Hn." Aya was scowling as he mounted the stairs back up to the shop. It went without saying that he had accepted this mission.  
  
"Do you accept?" She glanced around at the remaining three men, before her.  
  
"Sure." Ken spoke quietly from the couch.  
  
Omi glanced at Youji.  
  
Youji glanced at Omi.  
  
Both glanced at Ken, and shrugged.  
  
"Good, then. You're all in." Manx smirked.  
  
*****  
  
Notes--  
  
[1] I have this thing about calling Ran "RaRa". Heh heh... Bitte.  
  
[2] Scientists who figure out what abriviations stand for, like BRB, CIA, IRS, TGIF, KNSIFGA, etc. I dunno if they're real, since I just pulled it out of my nose, really. I don't even know if I spelled it right... Probably not.  
  
[3] In my 'seriously-in-need-of-an-update' arc, titled "Zweet Ziginy", Mika is just this girl who is Ken-obssessed. The 3rd part of the arc (which will be posted shortly) features her nabbing Kenken when he's forced to deliver flowers to her home. Zweet Ziginy does not follow the same lines of this fic, though, so if you happen to read currently un-named part 3 of Zweet Ziginy, yes it is the same girl.   
  
***** (A word from those people)  
  
Miri: So, the fan-girls are the bad guys? O_o  
  
Seph: So it would seem. ^_^  
  
Miri: What does that make us, then? o_o  
  
Seph: ... o_o  
  
Miri: ...? o_o  
  
Seph: Evil, of course! ^_^  
  
Miri: Oh... right. -_-;; 


End file.
